Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Devilish Comebacks for Bullies

Photo Credit:  <p><a href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2280">Image: digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net</a></p>

Scene: Two nine-year-old girls waiting for the school musical to start. My daughter's dress is bright red and full of sparkles.

Bully:  You look like a devil in your dress!

My daughter:  Well, you are the devil!

That girl never ceases to amaze me with her snappy comebacks (and she uses them at home too, believe me!) I can put together a clever comeback too--but only nine hours later. I've decided to put together a list for those of you as challenged in the comeback department as I am. Some of these are for kids but others anyone can use. Here goes:

1. Go away. I don't have time to ignore you now.
2. And I thought you were a nice person.
3. Okay, you're better than me. Let's move on.
4. Build your self-esteem another way.
5. My little brother can diss me a lot better than you can.
6. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
7. I can't hear a word you're saying. It sounds like English, but I'm not sure.
8. Yes I am an agent of Satan. But my duties are largely ceremonial.
9. Do I look like a people person?
10. I bet you were up all night working on that one.
11. I refuse to have a battle of the wits with an unarmed person.
12. I've been called worse from better.
13. Wow, did you come up with that all by yourself?
14. Pardon me, but you seem to think that I care.
15. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
16. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
17. Have you been shopping lately? They're selling lives at the mall. Get one.
18. There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.
19. You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
20. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

Keep kicking those bullies!


  1. They have some good comebacks here for all situations: http://www.ishouldhavesaid.net/

    I hope the bullying stops!

  2. been bullied it works kinda

  3. I love witty comebacks, they always work like this girl I am at school with (Who shall remain anonymous) and she is a real cow. It winds her up big time!!

  4. thanks but i need one for feral and run home u pussy to ur mama

  5. I hope these work this girl is horrible she stole my best friend and she's out to ruin my life :(

  6. Another one that is good...
    Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?
    Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone
    I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.
    What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck... Oh... It's your head...
    Don't hate me because I'm beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.

  7. roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo but dont worry ill b there too not in a cage but laughing at you!!!!!

    roses r red violets are blue if i had a brick i would throw it at you....

  8. Thank you so much! So many bullies at my school and this will show em

  9. Thank you so much!! I used these comebacks on a cyberbully and he left the server. :)

  10. honestly these dont really work. if there is a crowd, they just shoot the same cringy comments right back, but 10 times worse. They wont leave you alone. They never will. I have learned to just stop trying.