Tuesday, February 28, 2012

No More Mrs. Nice Gal at Work

I couldn't think of a darn thing to say to my boss who had just admonished me in her condescending tone. I really couldn't say anything anyway, for students filled the room. I couldn't tell her off even if I wanted to. I was trapped with the fury in my mind, and helpless
to unleash it.

 This was planned, of course. My bully knew my sharp tongue and chose a time and a place where she could effectively strut her dominance over me. She knew my tongue had to be tied.

According to Dr. Gary Namie, an expert on bullying in the workplace, this scenerio is not unusual due to the personalities of a bully and her victim. The bully is aggressive by nature and has learned through her years of intimidating others that striking first pays off. The victim is put on the defensive, and feels out of control. After a while, the bully sees herself as someone who is above others who are not powerful.

The mindset of her targets is the opposite. They have been taught to be "nice" all of their lives and learn to initiate conversations with ice-breakers and friendly chit chat.

So when confronted with a bully who comes trampling in the china shop to upset the glassware, the target is shocked and completely unarmed with the comebacks needed to chase the bully out. The bully barges on, and over time the victim, unprepared and always one step behind, can suffer caustic effects, not unlike post-traumatic stress disorder.

Namie concludes that the bully is really an office terrorist, ready to attack when someone least expects it. The victim should never feel she is responsible for the attacks.

In my experiences with bullies,I am almost never the only one attacked. Hopefully, the victims in workplaces can share their experiences with each other and confront the bully as
a team.

Keep Kicking Those Bullies!

Source:  Bullies at Work: Bushwhackers by Design     February 24, 2012
             from Who Gets Targeted by Bullies at Work / WBI by Dr. Gary Namie

Article Link:  http://www.google.com/reader/view/#search/bullies/2

Dr. Gary Namie's website at the Workplace Bullying Institute:

Gary Namie | WBI


Photo Credit: <p><a href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1499">Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net</a></p>

1 comment:

  1. Bullying is painful - no doubt. But to recommend "Keep kicking those bullies" Is highly inappropriate. They have issues that need to be addressed.